


5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing

by rebelmeg



Series: Rebelmeg's Ladies of Marvel Bingo Fills 2020 [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awesome Pepper Potts, Baby Hugger Tony Stark, Bots being precious, Embarrassment, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Philanthropy, Pre-Relationship, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Protective Pepper Potts, Sleepwalking, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Utter lack of self preservation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26311393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin, inspired by THAT MOMENT in the first movie.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Rebelmeg's Ladies of Marvel Bingo Fills 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911793
Comments: 148
Kudos: 136
Collections: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2020, Tony Stark Flash Bingo





	1. Sending Extravagant Wedding Gifts to Total Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> The wonderful DeeHellCat was my beta!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fills my LoMB square W3 - Pepper Potts!
> 
> Title: 5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing - Chapter 1: Sending Extravagant Wedding Gifts to Total Strangers  
> Collaborator: rebelmeg  
> Square Filled: W3 - Pepper Potts  
> Ship: pre-Pepperony  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: (this chapter) fluff and humor, wedding invitations, Tony doing silly billionaire things  
> Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin, inspired by THAT MOMENT in the first movie.  
> Word Count: 1071

Pepper shuffled through the stack of envelopes in her hand as she got up from her desk outside Mr. Stark’s office. She had been his PA officially for just over a month now, and in many ways she was still trying to get used to it. Him, especially, since he seemed to enjoy challenging the definitions of _eccentric_ , _playboy_ , and _genius_ on a daily basis.

The stack of envelopes that had been left on her desk were various sizes and colors, and some even with fancy calligraphy writing on the front, and one or two with a wax seal. She didn’t recognize a single name, which wasn’t unusual since everyone sent Mr. Stark mail, but this particular stack of mail had clearly been hand-sorted specifically for him to see. 

She knocked on his office door, waiting for his call to go in. Belatedly, she remembered that she probably should have brought a coffee and some kind of food with her. Mr. Stark mainlined coffee, and he barely ate anything that he couldn’t eat on the go or with one hand. Sometimes she wasn't sure how exactly he had kept himself alive this long, since he took such poor care of himself.

“Someday we’ll break that habit of knocking, I know we will,” Mr. Stark teased her with a lazy smile as she approached his desk, tipped back in his expensive executive chair with his feet up on his desk. He was twirling a pen in one hand and had his phone in the other, which certainly seemed to imply that he was taking a break and messing around, given his slouched posture. But he didn’t take breaks, not during work hours, even though Pepper knew he hated being at his SI office. He much preferred the days when he could stay at home working in his garage, or even hop over to R&D and get lost in there for hours.

“These were delivered for you, Mr. Stark. I’m not sure what they are.” She set the stack of mail on his desk, trading them for the folder of papers that she’d left for him to sign earlier. Hopefully he'd actually done so.

“Ooh!” He sat up quick, looking delighted. “It’s the last of the month!”

“Um… yes?” She had no idea what that had to do with it as she flipped through the folder and made sure he'd signed everything.

“These are all the wedding invitations that people sent me this month!”

Pepper blinked several times. “I… don’t understand?”

He was already ripping into the envelopes, taking out the invitations and even cooing over a few of the pictures. “Aw, that’s sweet, I love it when they pose with their pets.”

They were just falling further down the rabbit hole now. “Mr. Stark, why do people send you wedding invitations? Do you know all these people?”

He whistled as he pulled out a particularly fancy invitation, thick black paper embossed with gold lettering. “Nah, not usually. Check this out, there’s even little bitty diamonds around the border.”

Pepper sincerely hoped they were little bitty rhinestones, and not actual diamonds, because that was just ridiculous. Accepting the fact that she was clearly not going to understand whatever was going on here, she took a step back. “I’ll have some lunch sent up. Will that be all, Mr. Stark?”

He didn't look up at her as he reached for the next envelope, smiling in a genuine way that Pepper knew to be quite rare. “That’ll be all, Miss Potts.”

* * *

“Oh, here, these go on my personal account,” Mr. Stark handed Pepper a list as he was leaving his office at the end of the day. “I emailed you the addresses for them.”

“What are they?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows at the list of unusual items.

“Wedding presents.”

She looked up at him incredulously. “Wedding presents. For the people that sent you all those invitations?”

“Yeah, who else?”

“But… you don’t know them!”

“So?”

“So why are you sending them—” she glanced at the list again, “ _ridiculously_ expensive gifts?”

Mr. Stark just shrugged, looking utterly unconcerned. “I mean… why not?"

She tilted her head, considering it. He was a billionaire, after all. Not like he couldn't afford it, if he wanted to do it. “Yeah, okay, fair.”

“Knew you’d see it my way,” he beamed at Pepper and headed for the elevator, waggling his fingers over his head in a wave. “G’night, Miss Potts.”

“Good night, Mr. Stark.”

Reading through the list again, Pepper shook her head and muttered under her breath, “You crazy man.”

* * *

The stack of wedding invitations next month was even bigger, and Pepper delivered them to Mr. Stark with a coffee in her other hand. “Wedding invitations, mocha with an extra shot, and you’ve got a call coming in from Colonel Rhodes in five minutes. Official call, he asked to remind you not to say anything stupid.”

Mr. Stark snorted as he leaned forward and poked through the stack of envelopes. “Anything fun in there? There was a carnival themed reception I went to last year, open bar and everything. It was a blast!”

Pepper had been about to head for the door, but that made her pause. “…Mr. Stark, are you telling me that you crashed a wedding reception for people that you didn’t know?”

“I did not _crash_ , I was clearly invited.” He waggled one of the envelopes at her, and a few speckles of glitter fluttered out of the unsealed top edges. “I went to one last month that had a masquerade theme for the reception, it was _hilarious_ to see the bride and groom’s faces when I took my mask off!”

“That is… so ridiculously not safe.”

“No, what’s not safe is the fact that this invitation is the only one so far that specifies an open bar, and it’s clearly horror-movie themed.” He waved the invitation at her, grimacing. “You know how I feel about clowns, how am I supposed to handle this?”

Pepper threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “ _By not going!_ ”

“Aw, Miss Potts, you’re no fun.”

* * *

She talked him out of attending any receptions, but only just. But not the presents. And she’d never rolled her eyes so exaggeratedly as the way she did when she had to sign off on a ridiculously large bill for the purchase, wrapping, and delivery of fifty-eight wedding gifts just that month.


	2. Dangerously Drunk During Blackout Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper's first experience with Tony's December blackout week is a sad and memorable one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for my TSB Flash square 022 – Defense Mechanisms!
> 
> Title: 5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing - Chapter 2: Dangerously Drunk During Blackout Week  
> Collaborator: rebelmeg  
> Square Filled: 022 – Defense Mechanisms  
> Ship: pre-Pepperony  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: alcoholism, angst  
> Summary: Pepper's first experience with Tony's December blackout week is a sad and memorable one.  
> Word Count: 2012

Pepper would never forget the first time she learned about Tony’s blackout week. She’d been his PA for just over nine months, and while it wasn’t uncommon for him to drop off the radar for a day or two, she was starting to get worried this time. It was the middle of December and she hadn’t seen or heard from him in three days now. She had asked Happy about it, but he had only nodded and told her that Tony would be fine, he just tended to take a week off this time of year.

Under other circumstances, she might have taken that at face value and left it alone. Except Happy was terrible at hiding his own emotions, and he had worry and sadness written all over his face.

So after she checked that none of the jets had been taken out, and there weren’t any charges on Tony's credit card except for a couple local takeout places, she figured he had to be home or nearby. And he was.

Never in her life had Pepper seen anyone more staggeringly drunk than Tony was when she entered the workshop. She knew he was an alcoholic, it was something he struggled with, but even then she was horrified by the number of empty liquor bottles scattered around. One was even smashed on the floor, and Dum-E was doing his best to sweep up the shards.

Tony was standing in front of his bank of computers, swaying slightly as U propped him up. Across the four screens different silent footage was playing, and Pepper instantly recognized Howard Stark among them. She could also identify Tony, at two different ages, and a blonde woman that had to be his mother.

As he held a bottle of scotch in one hand and kept swaying, Pepper could hear Tony tunelessly humming something, though she couldn’t distinguish the melody. She stepped closer, keenly understanding Happy’s earlier worry, and wasn’t sure what she should do when Tony suddenly gasped.

He lurched, pitching right out of U’s reach, and Pepper was afraid he was going to end up on the floor. He somehow kept his feet, however, though he dropped the half-empty bottle of scotch on the floor. Stumbling and weaving as if he were walking across the top of heaving ocean waves, Tony made his way to the bathroom as fast as he could manage, and Pepper heard the wince-inducing crack of his knees hitting the floor before he started throwing up.

The bottle of scotch, which hadn’t broken when it had hit the ground, was dribbling its contents all over the floor, and Dum-E beeped in dismay.

“Oh no,” Pepper whispered to herself, utterly lost as to what to do to help. She’d seen Tony drunk before, she’d even seen him _really_ drunk before. But this was a whole different level, and she didn’t have the first idea what to do or say.

She didn’t have much of a chance to wrack her brain about it, though, because the toilet flushed and the sink came on in the bathroom. She hovered near the workshop door, waiting, and Tony came stumbling out a minute later.

He looked awful. Pale under his California tan, but with deep shadows under his eyes. He had a sheen of sweat on his face, and just looked generally unkempt. Pepper wondered if he’d showered anytime recently, as his clothes certainly looked slept in.

Tony didn’t look at her, probably didn't even know she was there, as he made his way across the room. But halfway to the computer desk, he paused. His eyes flitted up to the screens, where footage was still playing on repeat, and for one moment, Pepper saw something like utter heartbreak in his glassy eyes.

She almost stepped forward, almost spoke to him, but then he was snorting derisively and shaking his head, his lip curled up in disgust. He turned away, and once he’d retrieved another bottle of scotch out of the cupboards by the sink, he made his way to the couch. He took several swigs before he sat down, all but collapsing off his legs, his shoulders slumping like he was carrying a heavy load on them.

Pepper felt tears come to her eyes as he slowly laid down, almost like he was fighting himself. He kept the liquor bottle clutched to his chest, unwilling and perhaps unable to let go, and even when he passed out a minute later and all his limbs went loose, the bottle stayed where it was. Near his heart.

Taking a shaky breath, Pepper finally stepped away from the door. U had rolled over to Tony and was trying to spread a soft, threadbare blanket over the man, and Pepper helped the bot, swallowing several times to keep her tears back.

“It’s okay,” She whispered to U, and Dum-E as well as he paused by the couch, a mop in his claw. “He’ll be okay. We’ll take care of him, right?”

Both bots bobbed their arms in agreement, Dum-E losing his grip on the mop handle and beeping dejectedly. Though her smile was a little wobbly, Pepper patted his strut and held the mop steady for him, watching as the bot trundled back over to the puddle of spilled scotch on the floor.

U came closer, budging in for a pat too, and Pepper absentmindedly stroked the bot’s arm while she looked at Tony.

She still didn’t know what to do. Had no idea if she could help. But at least she could make sure that, for a little while, he wasn’t alone. Maybe that would be enough.


	3. Enjoying Company for the Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper walks in on something she would rather not have seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for my TSB Flash square 022 - Behind the Scenes!
> 
> Title: 5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing - Chapter 3: Enjoying Company for the Evening  
> Collaborator: rebelmeg  
> Square Filled: 022 - Behind the Scenes  
> Ship: pre-Pepperony  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: (this chapter) implied sexual content, embarrassment  
> Summary: Pepper walks in on something she would rather not have seen.  
> Word Count: 2806

Really, it was her own fault the first time it happened. Pepper knew her boss very well, she knew who he was, knew his reputation, knew that he loved bringing attractive company home to spend the night (though he was never there in the morning when his attractive bed partners woke up).

So she should have thought about it twice before stopping by the mansion after ten at night and immediately going to Tony’s room when she asked JARVIS where he was. Ten at night and Tony was in bed? That should have had screaming red alarms going off in her head.

Unfortunately for her, they didn’t, and she approached Tony’s open bedroom door completely unawares, and caught… one hell of an eyeful of a few things she had never planned to see, ever, at all, in her whole life.

Her jaw dropped, her eyes went wide, and Pepper froze in the doorway.

Once her brain registered the sight in front of her, as well as the sounds that really should have warned her _long_ before she got to this point, Pepper spun around and backtracked so fast she nearly bounced off the wall.

Blushing furiously, she was all but running as far away from Mr. Stark’s room as she could possibly get when JARVIS spoke up.

“Shall I alert Mr. Stark that you want to see him, Miss Potts?”

“NO!” She forced herself to take a breath, and cleared her throat as she fumbled with the front door. “Thank you, JARVIS, no. I do not need to see any more of Mr. Stark than I have already seen tonight.”

 _Although_ , her brain helpfully pointed out, _there really was nothing new left to see_. 

Not after _that_.

* * *

“Gooooood morning, Ms. Potts.” Tony greeted her when he came into the kitchen the next morning, dressed but for the suit jacket over his arm and the tie hanging loose around his neck. “When did you get here?”

Pepper nearly dropped the bread she was trying to slot into the toaster. “Oh, I thought JARVIS would let you… um, just a few minutes ago. I have some things for you to sign before the board meeting.”

He was looking at her inquisitively over the rim of his coffee cup. “Thought JARVIS would let me what?”

Oh, damn. She could feel herself flushing. “Let you know I was here. I wouldn’t want to interrupt you while you were… indisposed. So in the future, I’ll just have him let you know when I’m here.”

Now Tony looked slightly confused. “Does he not do that now? J?”

The toast popped up, and Pepper muttered to herself as she plated it and reached for the butter dish. “If he does, you’re ignoring it.”

Clearly, she hadn’t muttered quietly enough.

“Oh my, Miss Potts, did you walk in on something last night?!” He sounded absolutely _gleeful_.

She spread the butter on the slices of toast feeling like her shoulders couldn’t possibly get any stiffer. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

She chanced a glance back at him, which was a mistake because he had his chin on his hands and was looking at her with great interest, a grin playing on his face. “C'mon, Pep, tell all. That good, or that bad?”

Pepper dropped the toast on the plate and turned on her heel. “I’m leaving now.”

“You’re blushing.”

“I know I’m blushing!” She nearly shouted, “I’ve been blushing since last night!”

She didn’t have to look at him to know he was still grinning. “Mmm, scandalous, you _did_ like what you saw.”

She collected her purse and briefcase as fast as humanly possible, pointedly not looking at him. “Don’t make me sue you.”

“Yes, ma’am. JARVIS, make sure I know, really know, when Miss Potts is on the premises, if you would, seeing as how my complete lack of shame and/or modesty is making things awkward for her. And let her know if she should avoid a particular area of the house, hmm?”

“Yes, sir. The requested changes have been made to the Do Not Disturb protocol. A very wise decision, I must say.”

Pepper sighed with relief. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“Anytime, Miss Potts. Now skedaddle before this conversation gets any more awkward.” He was grinning at her, a real grin that was cheeky and charming, and she was pointedly ignoring it. That, and also the way she could see the hollow of his throat between the two halves of his unbuttoned shirt collar.

“Yes sir.” The words were barely out of her mouth before her heels were clacking hard on the floor as she left. “Sign those papers in the folder and eat your toast, coffee is not food!”

Tony's amused chuckle followed her out of the house.


	4. Sleepwalking in the Workshop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper didn't even know Tony was a sleepwalker until she found him doing so in the workshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for my TSB Flash square 022 - Thoughts
> 
> Title: 5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing - Chapter 4: Sleepwalking in the Workshop  
> Collaborator: rebelmeg  
> Square Filled: 022 - Thoughts  
> Ship: pre-Pepperony  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: (this chapter) sleepwalking, protective JARVIS  
> Summary: Pepper didn't even know Tony was a sleepwalker until she found him doing so in the workshop.  
> Word Count: 3606

The first time Pepper had fallen asleep at Tony’s house, sitting up on the couch, still in her heels with a folder full of papers in her hand and a blanket over her to keep her warm, she’d been horrified and all but run from the house in shame. Who just… fell asleep at their boss’s house like that?!

But then Tony had reminded her of how many times she had found him asleep at his desk or in his workshop and ordered her to stop feeling weird about it, so it didn’t faze either of them anymore. Tony already had blankets and spare pillows tucked here and there in his house and workshop, and Pepper kept a few at the office to keep them comfortable.

It wasn’t surprising or upsetting a few months later when Pepper woke up on Tony’s couch again, heels kicked off and a pillow under her head. She remembered kicking the heels off when she’d been somewhere around page 32 of a 68-page contract she was proofreading, but the pillow must have been Tony’s work. He was really sneaky when he wanted to be.

“JARVIS?” She mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes, not caring that she was smearing her already smudged makeup everywhere.

“How may I be of assistance, Miss Potts?”

“Time?”

“12:58 a.m.”

“Ugh. Where’s Tony?”

“Mr. Stark is in the workshop, ma’am.”

“Thanks.” Pulling herself up, Pepper checked her phone for missed messages as she made her way down the stairs to say good night to Tony and try to chivvy him to bed. She expected him to be working on something or other, and indeed he was. He was hunched over a worktable, a soldering iron in his hand when she put in her key code and entered the workshop.

“Tony? I’m gonna head home now. Have you slept at all?”

He didn’t answer, which wasn’t unusual when he got himself absorbed in a project, so Pepper got closer. “What are you working on?”

Again, no answer, though when she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, he made a little “hm” sort of noise.

“Hey, I’m heading out. Can I bribe you to go to bed if I have that breakfast burrito you like waiting for you at the office in the morning?”

Tony’s head bobbed a little, as if acknowledging her words. Something was… wrong, though, and Pepper noticed that there was no steam or smoke coming up from the soldering iron that he was working with. She bent down so she could peer into his face, worry rising up in her.

Tony’s eyes were half-open, but glazed, and she had the feeling that he wasn’t actually awake, no matter what his hands were doing.

She reached out and gently put her hand on his shoulder, speaking softly. “Tony?”

“He’s sleeping, Miss Potts. He will not respond to you in this state.” JARVIS supplied, and Pepper’s brows knitted in concern.

“Is he okay? Does this happen a lot?” She hadn't even known that Tony sleepwalked. 

“It’s not uncommon, I’m afraid, but he prefers to keep the episodes to himself. Mr. Stark has never endangered himself, or others, while having a sleepwalking episode. And after the first occurrence, he ensured that I was equipped with protocols to keep him safe. It will pass soon, and he will make his way to his bed or the couch here.”

“He’s using a soldering iron.”

“It’s not powered on, as you can see. I have control of all the power distribution on this property, and that section is not connected at all. It is a precaution.”

Feeling slightly relieved, Pepper waited for a few more minutes, watching Tony for any signs of danger or distress. “You’re sure he’s okay?”

“Positive, Miss Potts. He is safe. You may feel free to stay or leave as you wish.”

“Just a few more minutes.” Pepper murmured, sinking down to sit on a stool. She was tired, extremely so, but she didn’t feel like she could leave yet, even though she knew JARVIS would keep Tony safe.

Luckily, it was only another minute more before Tony set the soldering iron aside, staring into space for a few long moments before he got to his feet and slowly made his way to the couch across the workshop, Pepper watching him closely. He curled up on his side, head pillowed on his arm, and sighed deeply as his eyelids fluttered closed.

“He has dropped back into regular sleep, Ms. Potts. Another episode is unlikely tonight.”

Pepper nodded with relief and went over to the couch, spreading a blanket over her boss and tucking it carefully around his shoulders. “Thanks, JARVIS. I’ll head out now. I leave him in your capable hands.”

“Good night, Miss Potts.”


	5. Testing New Prototypes On Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper finds Tony testing new prototype weapons and body armor... on himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fills my TSB Flash square 022 - Rescue, and my Pepperony Bingo square O3 – “You were dying?!”
> 
> Title: 5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing - Chapter 5: Testing New Prototypes On Himself  
> Collaborator: rebelmeg  
> Squares Filled: TSB Flash square 022 - Rescue  
> Pepperony Bingo square O3 – “You were dying?!”  
> Ship: pre-Pepperony  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: (this chapter) Tony doing unintended harm to himself, cranky Pepper, worried JARVIS  
> Summary: Pepper finds Tony testing new prototype weapons and body armor... on himself.  
> Word Count: 4702

Pepper’s heart stopped in her chest, and she screamed as she watched Tony’s body drop to the workshop floor.

“Tony!”

A mug fell out of her hand and shattered as Pepper ran across the workshop, fear choking her as she knelt next to his prone body. She had been coming down the stairs with a fresh cup of coffee and some SI business to take care of, and had seen some kind of pulse fire right at him, making him collapse to the floor.

“Tony, wake up!” She shook his shoulders gently, dimly acknowledging the body armor he was wearing. “Wake up! You can’t be dead! Tony, wake up!”

She was on the brink of a gibbering panic when Tony’s eyes flew open, and he groaned.

Feeling like her bones had just been turned to water, Pepper fell back on her butt and just breathed, trying to bring her heart rate down. 

“What the _hell_ were you doing?!” She demanded as Tony gingerly sat up, rubbing at his chest and wincing. “And why isn’t JARVIS stopping you?!”

Tony looked confused for a second. “JARVIS… oh yeah. Unmute.”

The AI began speaking immediately. “Miss Potts, thank you for coming, I couldn’t make him stop, I was extremely concerned he was dying.” 

It spoke volumes about just how serious the situation was when an AI managed to sound panicked.

“You were dying?!” Pepper screeched.

“No I wasn’t! And JARVIS, I muted you because you threatened to call 911, what was I supposed to do?” Tony asked waspishly, wincing as he pulled himself to his feet. “At least this stuff is doing okay,” He muttered, poking at the body armor strapped to his chest. “Standing up pretty well to repeated blasts.”

“ _Repeated blasts?!_ ”

“That’s why I was trying to make him stop,” JARVIS chimed in even as Tony did a _pshaw_ motion with his hand, like it was no big deal. “Even with the armor, my calculations indicated that he might suffer severe damage if any of the blasts hit him at even a slight angle.”

Pepper glared at her boss fiercely. “For being a genius, you can be pretty damn stupid.”

He glared back as he sat down at one of the worktables. “Hey, those are big words coming from my assistant that I pay to be nice to me.”

“No, you pay me to arrange your life, and you’re missing a brain stem if you think part of that includes making funeral arrangements because you did something stupid.”

Tony opened his mouth to argue, but clearly thought better of it when he took a second look at Pepper's scowl. “Yeah, alright, point taken. JARVIS, when you’re done being mad at me, make sure all the data from this session is uploaded. I’ve got a few ideas about improvements.”

JARVIS didn’t reply, which meant he was definitely still mad

“What is that, anyway?” Pepper asked nervously, knowing that whatever Tony was wearing had been all that stood between himself and death.

“It’s a new body armor prototype. I was just testing it with an incapacitating weapon I’m working on.”

“Why the hell are you testing it on yourself?! Why isn’t R&D handling it?”

Tony sighed and shoved his hair out of his face. “Because it’s not for SI. Not yet.”

Pepper paused, not understanding. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been trying to get together enough workable prototypes to make a proposal that will extend SI’s manufacturing into more protective and defensive products. Body armor, stun weapons, helmets, protective gear, that kind of thing.” Tony slid a stack of drafting sketches her way, and she sorted through them.

“I had no idea you were interested in that kind of thing.” Pepper confessed, taken aback at how much work he'd already put into this project.

“Obie’s been stonewalling me on it. He keeps saying maybe next year, or maybe when we don’t have anything else to take to the board. Really, it’s the money. There’s more money to be made in weapons than anything else, and it doesn’t make sense to him that I want to diversify. ‘Stick with what you know, kid.’ You know him, you know what I mean.”

Yeah, she did. Pepper had never been able to really _like_ Obadiah Stane. There was just something about him that always made her feel uneasy. The way he often treated Tony like a child that had to be coaxed into good behavior was part of that.

Tony sighed, unbuckling the body armor from over his chest and tossing it away. “I’ve been having success with this, but something isn’t quite right, and I can’t do the tests I need with a dummy. I needed actual human testing, and, well—” He gestured around the lab, “I’m the only one here. Present company excluded.”

Pepper’s eyes were glued to the body armor he’d been wearing. “Is it supposed to have a dent in it?”

Tony glanced at the armor and grimaced. “No. That’s part of the problem, although the fact that I’ve been hitting it in the same place with the new stun gun for the past three hours is definitely a factor.”

She looked at him as he poked at the body armor, realizing that he really did have no idea how wrong that sentence had been, and her voice trembled just a little bit as she ordered, “Change JARVIS’s protocols, right now. You will no longer have the ability to mute him or prevent him from following through with safety and emergency procedures if you are doing harm to yourself.”

He huffed with annoyance, “But I’m not—”

“Right now, Tony.” She all but barked.

Tony looked at her, at the way she was shaking with anger and latent fear, and after a long pause he finally nodded. “Okay. That’s fair. JARVIS… like the lady said.”

“Yes, sir. Protocols updated.” There was that impossibly grateful tone to the AI’s voice, and Tony looked like he maybe felt a little bit ashamed.

“At least that’s something.” Pepper muttered under her breath. “Now, hospital.”

“Why? I’m not—”

“Hospital!”

“Alright, fine, keep your rather attractive skirt on.”

Tony allowed Pepper to herd him towards one of his beloved cars, and didn’t quibble about it when she directed him to the passenger seat. He waited until she was buckled up and starting the car before asking, “Can we stop at Gino’s on the way? I haven’t eaten yet today.”

Pepper had to count to ten and take a deep breath so she didn’t try to whack him over the head with her purse.


	6. Playing With the Bots After Making a Huge Anonymous Donation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost offensive how fast Pepper's bad mood evaporates when she sees the soft, sweet, and incredibly generous side of Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for my LoMB square M3 – free space, and my Pepperony bingo square I2 – Forbidden Love
> 
> Title: 5 Worse Things Pepper Caught Tony Doing + 1 Better Thing - Chapter 6: Playing With the Bots After Making a Huge Anonymous Donation  
> Collaborator: rebelmeg  
> Squares Filled: LoMB square M3 – free space  
> Pepperony bingo square I2 – Forbidden Love  
> Ship: pre-Pepperony  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: fluff, cute, Tony and the bots, Pepper's in love but won't admit it  
> Summary: It's almost offensive how fast Pepper's bad mood evaporates when she sees the soft, sweet, and incredibly generous side of Tony.  
> Word Count: 5426

Pepper stopped in her tracks as she came stomping down the stairs to the workshop. She’d been in a mood all day, largely due to the stack of paperwork in her hands that she was supposed to have figured out yesterday, which meant she now had to figure out how to hogtie her boss for as long as it took to get through the pile tonight. Especially the financial report that had crossed her desk that morning, the enormous sum of money that had come out of Tony’s personal spending account, that she now had to make sure was legitimate and not identity fraud. Or Tony trying to buy the Playboy Mansion or the moon or something.

She’d been ready to scare him into submission. Tony had admitted once that when she stormed towards him on those spike heels, glaring daggers and oozing competence, he’d been genuinely frightened. (He had also said it turned him on like a light switch, but he’d been drunk so Pepper was willing to overlook that part.) But getting a gander at what was going on in the workshop kind of took all the righteous indignation out of her sails.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of an empty space in the workshop, Tony was humming to himself and working on a laptop. But that wasn’t all. The bots were on either side of him, and both of them had their claws in their creator’s hair, playing with the dark locks.

As Pepper watched, frozen in place on the stairs, Dum-E’s claw suddenly got snagged. Several strands of hair got caught in bot's gear, but at the probably painful jerk at his hair, Tony just winced and reached up to disentangle the bot’s claw.

“Careful, buddy. I don’t need a bald spot.”

Dum-E whistled and very gently patted Tony’s head, then resumed his careful stroking. He and U were taking turns petting over Tony's hair in all different directions, making it look a mess. The whole picture was just… well, it was adorable.

How was Pepper supposed to stay mad now?

Glancing down at the papers in her arms, she wondered if maybe they _could_ wait. They already had, after all. And business hours were over. If she could get working on them first thing in the morning…

Looking at the financial report on the top of the stack, specifically the highlighted five- _million_ -dollar transaction, Pepper again read the name of the organization that had received the payment.

And she realized where she had vaguely recognized the name from when she’d read the report earlier.

It was the hospital. The children’s hospital upstate that Tony thought was a big secret, as if JARVIS didn’t know every move he made. The hospital that Pepper had called one night, worried about him, only to be told by one of the nurses on staff that Tony Stark was a frequent visitor to their children’s ward and nursery. Particularly the nursery.

Because at night, which was usually when Mr. Stark visited, there were always babies that needed to be held. So Tony would hold them. Tony Stark, genius, CEO, billionaire, playboy… would spend his sleepless nights cuddling the babies at the children’s hospital, because they needed the human contact and he was willing to give it.

Not an attempt to buy the moon, after all. A donation, probably anonymous. Probably not the first or the last.

Glancing up from the report, Pepper fixed her eyes on her boss again.

He was right where he’d been before, sitting on the floor while the bots played with his hair. He tipped the screen towards U, asking the bot a question, and she peered at the screen with interest, tipping her claw to focus her camera properly. Pepper couldn’t be sure, but she thought it looked like Tony was making name labels or a decals for the bots, and he was letting them pick the font.

It was hard to ignore the swell of affection (and something more) as she watched him, but she was used to it now, after eight years.

Shaking her head and sighing a little, Pepper didn’t realize she had a silly little smile on her face as she reluctantly backtracked up the stairs, asking JARVIS to make sure Tony was up on time the next day for work.


End file.
